Catching Up...or Am I?

Wow, more than a month since the last post. Things keep moving and somehow little seems to change. I trust the under-workings are building foundation layers to support my brave, exciting and passion filled new life. Until then, I'm driving a limo.

Yep, transportation is a large part of my life, and really, probably a big part of everyone's life in more ways than one. A little over a month ago I started driving for a company in St. Paul to create cash flow and get some motion into my existence. It's a small company with a few town cars and a few stretch limousines. Business has been slow for a couple years for them, but they were looking for weekend warriors so I signed up. I've actually been driving as much during the week as the weekend, but you have to take what you can get. I suspect many folks are in different stages of survival mode right now.

The work is fairly enjoyable, the down time a little frustrating, and the money is acceptable... for now. I am grateful to have something, and tho the hours vary widely, at least there is flexibility and some freedom in between assignments to do as I please. Luckily, that means more sauna time of late, and we all know how I do enjoy the heat!

I found the hot soaks have been very much about just relaxing and sweating these last weeks, and there is a comfort in that for me. I've given myself a chance to turn off the "transformation machine", and just be for a while. Yes, there are moments when I get frustrated thinking I deserve more and shouldn't have to work so hard to get it. After all, I used to be an airline pilot for Pete's sake! And these feelings offer me moments to think about my ego and it's associated processes. (By the way, why does Pete get all the attention anyway?)

My thoughts have been going there a lot when driving because I transport many different individuals with their specific energies and attitudes. Some see me as just the controlling part of the vehicle and thus do not interact much. Some are even obviously scornful of my "position" in life. Others are curious and interested in me and what I do and how one becomes a chauffeur. Those trips go by the fastest because of the conversations, which I often really enjoy.

So I think about things like: where I am in life, and how I got to this point, and what it is about that I get angry sometimes because I'm not where I'd like to be. What do I deserve, and is deserving even the point? Am I really wasting my talents as a limo driver? And how can I simply drop the judgments and live now. Am I stressed out? And if so, what a blessing I don't perceive it too much, if you get my meaning. Perhaps I'm not consciously ready to know how stressed I may really be. Time will tell.

Thanksgiving holiday is rapidly approaching and I can't believe how fast time travels. Halloween seems like a distant memory and before I can wrap my head around it, Christmas will be here. I truly am amazed at how things fly by.

So that's the update from Soul Sauna land. I honestly wish I felt more was happening both visibly and deep down. Again, time will clarify somethings and blur others, but forward is the direction we always go (like it or not).

Question(s): Were are you going? How comfortable are you with your life's disposition? How comfortable could you allow yourself to be if you dropped all the comparisons and judgments? Do you deserve your life? Or do we all deserve the best of everything life has to offer? If you could transport yourself to somewhere, where would you go?

Happy Thanksgiving!