Consider-ate Perspectives

Sitting in the sauna a couple of weeks ago, I heard my phone ring. The dispatcher at the limousine company I drive for asked if I wanted a one-way trip in our 14 passenger Excursion worth only one hour of pay and including a fair distance driving. She informed me that the people were, "probably going to be trouble". I interpreted this to mean high maintenance or discourteous in some way. She said they had been difficult to work with over the phone, and they would not honor the two hour minimum policy. I said I would take the trip.

As I was traveling to pick up the group, I admit I was a bit apprehensive and wondered what the trip would be like given the info I had received. I consciously try to let my own experience dictate my feelings and opinions, but you can't always ignore outside information.

When I arrived, it turned out this was a wedding party for a couple and their families originally from Guinea in western Africa. The initial discussion was a bit challenging due mostly to my apprehension and a bit of a language issue, but we soon established comfortable communication, and the next hour was a delight! These people smiled more than any group I've ever been in.

Turns out the evening was a reception style event which was the culmination of a lengthy courtship and wedding process. The couple were to be received at the destination and all was filmed and documented as usual. The party was genuinely thrilled to have gotten a ride in the limousine, and there were no less than three tapings while the party exited the vehicle. (They had to repeat twice due to lighting issues.)

The whole wedding party was dressed in beautiful dresses and suits. The long dresses had bright colorful patterns in rich materials, and the men's suits were of a very comfortable looking linen fabric with silver and glass sequin design accents. The Matriarch of the family also wore a large colorful headdress to denote her status, and her husband could not have looked more pleased with the whole affair. The two of them together acted as if they were still on their own honeymoon.

As I was standing watching the second and third tapings of the arrival, a boy of about 7, who had been very excited to ride in the limo, came up to me with a thoughtful look on his face and said,"Would you like to come inside and get something to eat?" I smiled and thanked him, but politely declined, explaining I needed to stay with the limo. He looked thoughtful some more and then asked,"Well ..... then shouldn't we go get you some food to bring out here?" The little guy stole my heart on the spot!

I again had to decline but made sure to let him know how much I appreciated his kindness. Then I spoke to the husband of the Matriarch again, and I said, "What a thoughtful little boy" to which he replied with a warm smile, "We raise them that way." And I thought, we could all do that!

I felt so glad to have been able to be a small part of such a joyous occasion. Just that one brief hour provided them with a chance to do something rare and fun which added to their already wonderful day, and provided me with a feeling of great contentment and satisfaction for just helping out and being around such happy people. I wished they had wanted to use the limo for another hour just so I could stay with them for a while longer.

Isn't it interesting how the perception of two separate people interacting with a common third party can be so vastly different. Our mood, environment, prejudices, past experiences, impressions, etc. are so subjective and personal that we can all see even the exact same event in very different ways and react with very different emotions. To one person, these folks were trouble. And to another they were an uplifting delight. Both perceptions equally valid and yet seemingly completely opposite.

A skilled networking expert once told me that you can always find something to appreciate about a person or group, even if you do not like to be around them. What an excellent way to change your perception of that person and the experience you have with them. Situations are almost always more enjoyable when you feel appreciation and gratitude, even for the simplest or smallest aspect of the interaction. If I had been the dispatcher in my real life example, I bet the phone conversation and my impression of the client would have been improved by simply remembering to appreciate the call regardless of the outcome.

Finding one or more things to appreciate each day, particularly about difficult or uncomfortable situations is a sure way to brighten our disposition and improve our outlook on life.

What perception in your life could be altered by using appreciation and gratitude?
Is there a person, friendly or not, with whom you can find something new to appreciate?
If so, could you communicate your appreciation (large or small) to them without any return expectation?
If you did tell them, would that expression relieve tension or stress for you and/or them?

Catching Up...or Am I?

Wow, more than a month since the last post. Things keep moving and somehow little seems to change. I trust the under-workings are building foundation layers to support my brave, exciting and passion filled new life. Until then, I'm driving a limo.

Yep, transportation is a large part of my life, and really, probably a big part of everyone's life in more ways than one. A little over a month ago I started driving for a company in St. Paul to create cash flow and get some motion into my existence. It's a small company with a few town cars and a few stretch limousines. Business has been slow for a couple years for them, but they were looking for weekend warriors so I signed up. I've actually been driving as much during the week as the weekend, but you have to take what you can get. I suspect many folks are in different stages of survival mode right now.

The work is fairly enjoyable, the down time a little frustrating, and the money is acceptable... for now. I am grateful to have something, and tho the hours vary widely, at least there is flexibility and some freedom in between assignments to do as I please. Luckily, that means more sauna time of late, and we all know how I do enjoy the heat!

I found the hot soaks have been very much about just relaxing and sweating these last weeks, and there is a comfort in that for me. I've given myself a chance to turn off the "transformation machine", and just be for a while. Yes, there are moments when I get frustrated thinking I deserve more and shouldn't have to work so hard to get it. After all, I used to be an airline pilot for Pete's sake! And these feelings offer me moments to think about my ego and it's associated processes. (By the way, why does Pete get all the attention anyway?)

My thoughts have been going there a lot when driving because I transport many different individuals with their specific energies and attitudes. Some see me as just the controlling part of the vehicle and thus do not interact much. Some are even obviously scornful of my "position" in life. Others are curious and interested in me and what I do and how one becomes a chauffeur. Those trips go by the fastest because of the conversations, which I often really enjoy.

So I think about things like: where I am in life, and how I got to this point, and what it is about that I get angry sometimes because I'm not where I'd like to be. What do I deserve, and is deserving even the point? Am I really wasting my talents as a limo driver? And how can I simply drop the judgments and live now. Am I stressed out? And if so, what a blessing I don't perceive it too much, if you get my meaning. Perhaps I'm not consciously ready to know how stressed I may really be. Time will tell.

Thanksgiving holiday is rapidly approaching and I can't believe how fast time travels. Halloween seems like a distant memory and before I can wrap my head around it, Christmas will be here. I truly am amazed at how things fly by.

So that's the update from Soul Sauna land. I honestly wish I felt more was happening both visibly and deep down. Again, time will clarify somethings and blur others, but forward is the direction we always go (like it or not).

Question(s): Were are you going? How comfortable are you with your life's disposition? How comfortable could you allow yourself to be if you dropped all the comparisons and judgments? Do you deserve your life? Or do we all deserve the best of everything life has to offer? If you could transport yourself to somewhere, where would you go?

Happy Thanksgiving!