What's In It For Me? A Loaded Question.

I attended a presentation tonight that really made me uncomfortable in a very personal way. That hot mental/spiritual debate kind of uncomfortable that results in me not being able to sit still for very long.

The presenter is a successful and well known executive coach and public speaker who travels the world practicing her art and presenting her material. My first challenge was to be open to the learning and wisdom she had to offer even tho I did not care for her speaking style. She seemed a bit into herself and her philosophy, and there was enough judgement in her words to get my attention. Interestingly, a good percentage of the audience, as observed by their comments and expressions, seemed to have her on some sort of pedestal - exact height unknown. Also, she used a PowerPoint projection, but was not familiar with it and fiddling with it broke her rhythm multiple times.

Once I was able to put aside the distractions, I paid attention to what she was offering. Sometimes only in concept rather than the exact words. She carries great enthusiasm for her work, and it is infectious. We were often laughing and enjoying an exchange of information within the group. Like most effective speakers I have observed, she truly believes in what she's saying and came across as very genuine.

Where I got uncomfortable was when ideas were spoken that do not match my own. I found myself competing internally between resisting the information as wrong or missing the mark, and accepting her right to her own place and experience in this life. At times a felt I knew more or better. Hello ego. Herein lies the first of several points of awareness I received about myself. Awareness being the key word here. To be aware and to be conscious are two different things. I am aware of my ego issues, but have not shifted into the consciousness of letting them go.

Many of her concepts did match my own, which brought up another question within. I know I have valuable things to offer people thru coaching and public speaking, but I wonder how much is my own take and how much is simply rearranged pieces picked up from other people. Are my thoughts unique enough to call my own with total integrity? I can think of several angles which I know to be of my own philosophy, and the talks I've done and the articles I've written have been well received, and yet I still have doubts.

Aha! There it is. I realize at this moment that I'm thinking about what I can offer in terms of where the credit should be given and what I can gain rather than the value it can hold for someone listening. If my intention is purely to provide information to help others, it doesn't matter who else may have thought or said it first. I have the awareness; now I want to transform it into my consciousness. Cool.

There are other aspects to the evening that kept me uncomfortable and working. One or two I may discuss a different time, but for now I'll jump to the end.

As the program got close to the end, I began using a tool I heard about at a networking gathering a month or so ago. It is the tool of appreciation. I consciously began to find the things I appreciated about the speaker. Her dynamism, positive attitude, joy, and her willingness to offer. And most notably, how much she provided for me by simply being there.

Along with some new perspectives on a couple ideas, the material she presented was already familiar to me. But the reactions I felt, the debates I entertained in my head, and the awareness I received as a result of her talk were quite enlightening and even profound. Proof positive that even the same-old same-old always has the potential to be something different.

Before I left, I made sure to take action and show my appreciation by thanking her for coming and telling her how thought provoking I found the presentation to be. I couldn't honestly tell her I enjoyed it, but I certainly see the value in the experience and am grateful for it.

There is much for me to absorb and integrate from tonight. Assuredly, some of it will lead from greater awareness to greater consciousness. So I've got that goin' for me, which is nice.

How about you?

What internal challenges do you find yourself facing from day to day?
Ever had an experience that had a totally unexpected outcome or benefit?
What awareness can you transform into consciousness?

Farewell and Welcome

Oddly, during the last 2 months, I have enjoyed visiting the sauna more frequently than usual and blogged almost not at all. I have an idea or two as to why this has been.

First, I think I've just been sick and tired of focusing on change and evolution and transformation. Don't get me wrong, I've still been learning and exploring aspects of myself which could very well use a tweak; just doing so via things like writing, looking for work, studying new ways to market my business, researching book publishing possibilities, tele-classes, etc. And actually, believe it or not, we all have parts of our being that don't need anything. Simple understanding and awareness of them is evolution enough, a concept that's easy to forget if you get too wrapped up in introspective work. We all gotta live a little (or a lot).

It also occurs to me that it's time for finally saying farewell to the old, hashed over stuff, and say welcome to the new. Sure, it sounds obvious, sort of like that's the whole point. But really, I've been focusing a bit too much on what to get rid of instead of what to keep and what new to do next. If you only look down at your feet while walking, you'll see what's tripping you up, but you won't be able to balance for the next step. Something inside me wants to look up and run, not to get away, but to get going.

A while back, I blogged about listening to my old music simply for the enjoyment of the music, not longing for the memories it brought back. I still cherish the memories; they are uniquely mine and part of my journey, but I don't let them drag me into the past.

Yesterday, I was thinking about music from my school years. There were groups I didn't like back then that I do now, I think because they were just a part of growing up and what was happening in that time. The other groups I like from those years are the ones whose songs and style I really loved right away, and still do There were a bunch...I lost track of how many I could recall.

Now I find myself looking for new music and bands, but I don't seem to be able to find any which inspire or even interest me. I hope I find some soon because as write this, I realize that the tunes I've got on the ole' iPod are starting to feel hollow and empty. The beat goes on but the energy is draining away leaving an empty shell. I'm not trying for anything depressing here, just observing what came up in this moment. I'll keep my ears open for new stuff.

What are you ready to say farewell to in your life?
What are you ready to welcome in?
As you go thru life, are you looking at you shoes or focusing out front?