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If you have not read "The Power of Relationships - part #1", please stop and do so now. For this post to make any sense, you need to have been presented with the information in the previous one first.
So don't read any further until you've gone back.
Make sure you've had time to think about the last entry.
Yes, I'm spreading out the text so you aren't tempted to read what's below first.
Seriously, read part #1 before going any further.
Done?
OK, here goes part #2.
Ask yourself the following questions. Then go back and read entry #1 in the context of your answers. Be curious about what new meaning your answers give to the content.
Questions:
Do the "strong bonding" relationships I referred to allow you to be yourself?
Or, do those relationships exist because we choose to simply be ourselves?
Isn't it true that we choose to create and participate in all of our own relationships?
What implications does this have for the whole of our lives?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Power of Relationships - part #1
Saunas without music....seems to be a new angle for me to get ideas. Yes, I forgot to charge my iPod battery. It's ready for next time tho.
I baked longer than usual yesterday. Maybe the sauna was a few degrees cooler. Maybe I needed extra warmth. Or maybe the awareness I received in the last 5 minutes just needed more time to incubate. Whatever the reason, I had an interesting illumination.
For many a year now, I have often thought how disappointing it has been that I haven't made many friends with whom I am as close as I was to my old high school buds, some of which I am still fairly close to today. I always chalked it up to the power of bonding during those formative teen years. And I certainly still think it has a big influence. However, there is something more.
As parents, we all give attention to the idea that our child needs to grow and be their own person, not just become what we think they should be. Some spend more effort cultivating this result than others, but no matter how objective and flexible we are, there is something different about how our children act when they're not around us, particularly when they are with their friends. And this is when something really magical happens.
As a teenager hanging out with my friends, usually I felt comfortable, unrestricted, young, and energized, like I had my own life. Perhaps at that age you also felt more confident, braver, willing to try new things, and a little mischievous. You could make your own decisions and say more of what you really felt. In short, you could be yourself.
Strong friendships are important, but what is most notable is what they allow. They provide the space to explore being you. If you're like me, you needed that space to learn about things like how to get to know a best friend, how to find your place in a group, and of course dating. Parents can show you some steps in the right direction, but there is a point at which you have to go it alone. Ultimately, it is you that gets to live your life.
And so it continues thru adulthood. The relationships are arguably more complex and can teach us a great deal more. What it all boils down to is whether or not your relationships provide that comfort zone where you can truly be yourself. Another way to think of it is this. If you are truly yourself, what happens to the relationship? Does it resist embracing your uniqueness or does it grow stronger as you embody your own awesome identity?
These questions are not asked lightly, for the implications are significant and can be unsettling. However, even if the answers are be unexpected, there is always choice in how we proceed.
So, for someone like me who has not developed many deep friendships in my post high school years, what's the catch? Have I focused too much on friendship itself rather than what it supports and encourages in me? Have I not displayed enough of my true self to attract the type of friendships I desire? What would happen if I acted of my own essence all the time?
All I can say is, I'll do my best to find out!
I baked longer than usual yesterday. Maybe the sauna was a few degrees cooler. Maybe I needed extra warmth. Or maybe the awareness I received in the last 5 minutes just needed more time to incubate. Whatever the reason, I had an interesting illumination.
For many a year now, I have often thought how disappointing it has been that I haven't made many friends with whom I am as close as I was to my old high school buds, some of which I am still fairly close to today. I always chalked it up to the power of bonding during those formative teen years. And I certainly still think it has a big influence. However, there is something more.
As parents, we all give attention to the idea that our child needs to grow and be their own person, not just become what we think they should be. Some spend more effort cultivating this result than others, but no matter how objective and flexible we are, there is something different about how our children act when they're not around us, particularly when they are with their friends. And this is when something really magical happens.
As a teenager hanging out with my friends, usually I felt comfortable, unrestricted, young, and energized, like I had my own life. Perhaps at that age you also felt more confident, braver, willing to try new things, and a little mischievous. You could make your own decisions and say more of what you really felt. In short, you could be yourself.
Strong friendships are important, but what is most notable is what they allow. They provide the space to explore being you. If you're like me, you needed that space to learn about things like how to get to know a best friend, how to find your place in a group, and of course dating. Parents can show you some steps in the right direction, but there is a point at which you have to go it alone. Ultimately, it is you that gets to live your life.
And so it continues thru adulthood. The relationships are arguably more complex and can teach us a great deal more. What it all boils down to is whether or not your relationships provide that comfort zone where you can truly be yourself. Another way to think of it is this. If you are truly yourself, what happens to the relationship? Does it resist embracing your uniqueness or does it grow stronger as you embody your own awesome identity?
These questions are not asked lightly, for the implications are significant and can be unsettling. However, even if the answers are be unexpected, there is always choice in how we proceed.
So, for someone like me who has not developed many deep friendships in my post high school years, what's the catch? Have I focused too much on friendship itself rather than what it supports and encourages in me? Have I not displayed enough of my true self to attract the type of friendships I desire? What would happen if I acted of my own essence all the time?
All I can say is, I'll do my best to find out!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Processing......Enough Already!
I went to fire up my little musical wonder today for my workout, and the battery was dead. Great. Oh well, you work with what'cha got. And pleasantly, I found it to be a nice change from the wall of sound that insulates me from the world when I listen.
The workout was mostly stretching. I feel a different brand of energy bubbling within, and honestly it is not completely comfortable. I'm told I am opening to a greater flow of creative juice and releasing contractions that restrict my energetic core. Nice to hear, even tho I don't have much of a clue about what I will do with it. So the conclusion here is that I've been processing thru things which have now resolved to a point where I'm ready to flow significantly more than before. Sounds good.
As I was sitting musicless in the sauna, I was thinking how I didn't have my tunes to provide the conscious distraction which allows inner thoughts to emerge. I felt like it would be harder to work thru new stuff. And then I realized, I'm sick and tired of working thru stuff! Enough with the processing already!!
With this new awareness, I gave myself permission to just be. If I had aha's or inner wisdom come thru, well fine, but if not, just as fine, maybe even better. So there I sat, enjoying the heat, no music, sweating out some of the sweets I've been eating lately, and not trying to work on anything. It was great! No pressure, no expectation, no results other than relaxation. I think I will do that more often and just live a little instead of always wondering what's next on the "to do" list.
It occurs to me that we really only need to actively look at our processes when we encounter a situation we'd like to alter or transform. Otherwise, the processing continues, but we can just let it happen without paying particular attention to it. Perhaps this is just another way to say "living in the moment".
That sounds good to me.
How often do you give yourself permission to just be? To just live and trust that the necessary and appropriate processing continues without supervision?
How many ways can you say "living in the moment"?
The workout was mostly stretching. I feel a different brand of energy bubbling within, and honestly it is not completely comfortable. I'm told I am opening to a greater flow of creative juice and releasing contractions that restrict my energetic core. Nice to hear, even tho I don't have much of a clue about what I will do with it. So the conclusion here is that I've been processing thru things which have now resolved to a point where I'm ready to flow significantly more than before. Sounds good.
As I was sitting musicless in the sauna, I was thinking how I didn't have my tunes to provide the conscious distraction which allows inner thoughts to emerge. I felt like it would be harder to work thru new stuff. And then I realized, I'm sick and tired of working thru stuff! Enough with the processing already!!
With this new awareness, I gave myself permission to just be. If I had aha's or inner wisdom come thru, well fine, but if not, just as fine, maybe even better. So there I sat, enjoying the heat, no music, sweating out some of the sweets I've been eating lately, and not trying to work on anything. It was great! No pressure, no expectation, no results other than relaxation. I think I will do that more often and just live a little instead of always wondering what's next on the "to do" list.
It occurs to me that we really only need to actively look at our processes when we encounter a situation we'd like to alter or transform. Otherwise, the processing continues, but we can just let it happen without paying particular attention to it. Perhaps this is just another way to say "living in the moment".
That sounds good to me.
How often do you give yourself permission to just be? To just live and trust that the necessary and appropriate processing continues without supervision?
How many ways can you say "living in the moment"?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
My Eulogy
Strange entry, this one. After I finished downloading the information for my last presentation (see my last blog entry), I asked if there was anything else I needed to write. The answer was yes, I needed to write my eulogy.
Now trust me, I'm not dying in the literal sense. To the contrary, I feel as tho things are beginning to come alive like they haven't for a very long time. While the process has often seemed painfully slow and frustrating, it somehow proceeds none the less.
So here is the comment on my passing from one understanding of life to the next.
Now trust me, I'm not dying in the literal sense. To the contrary, I feel as tho things are beginning to come alive like they haven't for a very long time. While the process has often seemed painfully slow and frustrating, it somehow proceeds none the less.
So here is the comment on my passing from one understanding of life to the next.
"My Eulogy"
"Speed on, pilot of the soul. Yours is to the world another one gone out. Feel strength from your inner being, as your outer being is no more. Disregard and discard the trappings of old, keeping no more than lessons learned and vital growth. Speak of yourself no more. Expand to the greatest heights of experience and be free of unnecessary dullings. Yours is the power of energy and light, open to all options at once. What is life? So much more than a body and brain. Honor all and attach to none. If yours was unsatisfactory, then be it so. But not anymore. What would be the point? Fear be gone. Such a worthless conjuring. There is no danger to the soul.
Goodbye is really not goodbye, just changing form. “Until next time” may be more appropriate. Your experience “just was”, as you endeavored to “just be”. Some was missed, all was retained and every ounce useful, tho some totally unnecessary. What of it? Every touch, every kiss, every thought, every nuance took shape for an instant and somehow forever, yet only if we hold it there. Even now, old patterns remain, waiting to be fully understood and released. Thank you and so long. The essence of them and you compared, to see what fits with your greater purpose.
Notice the aloneness is gone; as is any belief you were ever alone. It is not possible. Rejoice as you can in the freedom and reunion. Time is of no consequence, as the process is time; is space; is everything; and is complete. Call it knowing or trust, but all is, and wants for nothing. Just Be.
Speed on, pilot of the soul."
I wonder, are we often unaware of our own death and rebirth as we go thru existence?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Perception & Reality - An Interpretation
While preparing for the presentation I gave last Thursday evening, I took a few moments to quiet myself and ask what information my heart (rather than my brain) felt would be most beneficial for my audience and myself. The following is what came out on the page and became the main focus of my discussion.
"It is not necessary to know the difference between perception and reality. What we each feel is substantial and real, fortified by what we see, hear, feel and experience. Foundations are solid and strong to support our place in the world. Forever are we locked into the thoughts and conjurings we create due to their power and influence. Flow is essential. Can you listen? What is it that matters? Where are we going? Can our perceptions take us there? Yes! Where reality ends is where perception begins. Freedom to perceive is a gift. We can enhance or detract from reality. We often force our thoughts onto the pattern of our lives. We are bounded by beliefs and other structures which limit our existence – detract. The more we open to flow and release objections, the more we transform and come alive - enhance. Prepare to be astounded, to receive, to wonder, to explore. Be as active as you can and as least reactive as possible. Life is a journey and a process. It is easy to get distracted and stop the process by reacting. Hold with the process and attach to nothing else. Free experience is easy and efficient and cheap. Bring what you know as a witness to accentuate new learnings. Fire the managers of fear and gloom. Be present.
What of Love? Can it conquer all? No. It need not conquer because that is no longer Love. Love is a powerful force of subtlety and encouragement. Dwell in the Love, and conquering gives way to enfolding and acceptance. Shape your existence in the form of Love, because those who can Love unconditionally thrive in the flow of the universe."
There is enough here to ponder for hours and days, maybe much longer. My one hour presentation time frame was easily filled, and the feedback was that everyone perceived value in the material and conversation. The full discussion can be seen on the web at www.youtube.com/ejstrodthoff and is entitled, "Your Perception, Your Reality - A discussion of what is true in our lives." As with all life learnings, new related insights will continue to appear, arising from deeper and deeper levels as time goes by. I'll be curious to see what opens up next.
For now, a few "quick" questions:
What role do you play in creating your existence?
How much responsibility do you have for your own happiness?
How much does what you believe affect your perception of the world?
"Perception & Reality"
"It is not necessary to know the difference between perception and reality. What we each feel is substantial and real, fortified by what we see, hear, feel and experience. Foundations are solid and strong to support our place in the world. Forever are we locked into the thoughts and conjurings we create due to their power and influence. Flow is essential. Can you listen? What is it that matters? Where are we going? Can our perceptions take us there? Yes! Where reality ends is where perception begins. Freedom to perceive is a gift. We can enhance or detract from reality. We often force our thoughts onto the pattern of our lives. We are bounded by beliefs and other structures which limit our existence – detract. The more we open to flow and release objections, the more we transform and come alive - enhance. Prepare to be astounded, to receive, to wonder, to explore. Be as active as you can and as least reactive as possible. Life is a journey and a process. It is easy to get distracted and stop the process by reacting. Hold with the process and attach to nothing else. Free experience is easy and efficient and cheap. Bring what you know as a witness to accentuate new learnings. Fire the managers of fear and gloom. Be present.
What of Love? Can it conquer all? No. It need not conquer because that is no longer Love. Love is a powerful force of subtlety and encouragement. Dwell in the Love, and conquering gives way to enfolding and acceptance. Shape your existence in the form of Love, because those who can Love unconditionally thrive in the flow of the universe."
There is enough here to ponder for hours and days, maybe much longer. My one hour presentation time frame was easily filled, and the feedback was that everyone perceived value in the material and conversation. The full discussion can be seen on the web at www.youtube.com/ejstrodthoff and is entitled, "Your Perception, Your Reality - A discussion of what is true in our lives." As with all life learnings, new related insights will continue to appear, arising from deeper and deeper levels as time goes by. I'll be curious to see what opens up next.
For now, a few "quick" questions:
What role do you play in creating your existence?
How much responsibility do you have for your own happiness?
How much does what you believe affect your perception of the world?
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